Sexy Halloween Costumes

This Halloween has seen a continuation in the growing trend of sexy Halloween costumes. These costumes, which are exactly what they sound like, are...
raise the question...
show...
make one think...
interact with Rockettopia in some way...
Dammit! How can I make fun of this!? This is so stupid!!! The world has already made this dumb trend so extreme that it's a parody of itself. Normally, I'd take something stupid like 'Sexy Pizza' and 'Sexy Walter White' and 'Sexy Bacon' and 'Sexy NSA Agent' and make up things like 'Sexy Leatherface' and 'Sexy Mental Patient' and 'Anna Rexia' and 'Sexy Osama bin Laden', but ALL THOSE ARE REAL!! I didn't HAVE to make them up! How am I supposed to make something up to top that kind of offensive absurdity!! Sexy Barack Obama? Nah, that would be trying too hard. Really, once there's Sexy bin Laden, it's physically impossible to fall any further.
Please don't take that as a challenge. Please.

In all Seriousness Notes:
1. If a costume has the modifier 'Sexy' in it, it's probably something that should not be sexy.
2. Please don't wear any of these costumes.

If you want to be mentally traumatized, here are the referenced costumes.
If you want to be even more traumatized, here are some things that don't exist. This year, at least.

Rockettopia High School RADD Club: An Overview

This year, Rockettopia High School welcomed a new addition to the club scene: The Rockettopians Against Destructive Decisions, or RADD, Club. The  RADD club teaches students about avoiding destructive decisions such as doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and having sex. If they can make an impact, the club's "Adviser", Mr. Steinberg, plans to move on to eating ice cream, hanging out with friends, using the internet, and smiling. The Club was planned and named by a committee of teachers who apparently are not aware that the 1970s were forty years ago. The name choice was probably made with the slang term 'Rad' in mind, which was last heard from on June 7th, 1999. 'Rad' is, of course, short for radical, which makes sense, because here in Rockettopia, not having sex, doing drugs, and drinking alcohol are pretty radical decisions.

According to reports, the first meeting of the RADD club was attended by eight students: five students who had been dared to go, one lost freshman, the club 'Adviser' Mr. Steinberg's daughter, and a severely intoxicated senior who staggered into the classroom, mumbled some flirtatious comments to a poster, and collapsed due to alcohol poisoning.

Did you know: The Hawai'ian alphabet has twelve letters!

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        Note: The RADD club was apparently started in 2009, but until now, the entire student body has been too drunk or stoned to notice.

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        Other Note: Despite the odd aptness of the name, the RADD club is officially an offshoot of the national Students Against Destructive Decisions, or SADD club. [I'm just going to leave this one you.]

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        INS Note: Drugs are a really bad idea. Seriously, it's a really, really bad idea. Avoid drugs. 80% of RHS students you know the drill.... But honestly...

Sex in Sectionals

This week, the shocking truth came out that students in the Rockettopia String orchestra were using their sectional time for, among other things, sex. An onlooker reported this:

“I was walking past one of the practice rooms when I saw a girl walking in. Then I heard a brief conversation, followed by giggling and a flow of students leaving the room. Then the giggling intensified, followed by kissing sounds, other sounds, and cries of ‘Yes, yes, oh, oh, more, more, hehehe!’ I then quietly walked away.”

Despite the fact that the student only confided in his experience with a few close friends, the story quickly got around, resulting in the principal condemning the situation as ‘Shocking!’, the psychology club issuing a statement blaming the situation on the human instinct towards mindless sex. The Band also released a taped statement, “These shocking revelations show how mindless the string orchestra can be at times. However, do not use this as an excuse to condemn the entire music department. These allegations do not apply to the band.” The student body generally thinks this speech would be much more reassuring if not for the cries of ‘Ooohhh! Ooohhh! Yes! More! Faster! Oh, oh, oh!’ emanating from a nearby room.

The Chrous also released a statement, albeit of a different tone than the Band’s: “Why is anyone shocked by this? Isn’t this what sexionals is for? I mean, it’s sexionals, right?”