Monday, March 12, 2012

Kim Kardashian Responds to 'Idiot' Remark in a Monosyllabic Rant

Reality star Kim Kardashian, star of the hit reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians and four-time winner of coveted the Dumbest Twitter Fad award, responded yesterday to John Hamm's insult of her as a '[expletive] idiot' in a monosyllabic rant incomprehensible to all listeners over the age of twenty-five. Her speech began with the phrase: "You know how John Hamm called me an idi-ot yesterday? He was, like, so, like, off base. I'm not an idi-ot. That's like, so, like, mean, like, like, like. Like. I'm not stu-pid, like, like, not at all. " She went on like this for a total of over thirty minutes, never using a word with more than one syllable. Kim Kardashian has since gained 100,000 new twitter followers.

In related news, the Rockettopia High detective club has traced the missing quarterback to the southwest united states, most likely in the legendary Mojave desert.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Quarterback Kidnapped by Robot Helicopter

In a strange turn of events this week, the Rockettopia High School football team quarterback was kidnapped by a giant robot heliocopter. The quarterback was taken by the helicopter in broad daylight and in view of twenty-six witnesses. Some have placed guilt on the Robotics Club for the kidnapping, due to the fact that the club has been working on a secret project for the last two weeks and began the project after the Quarterback called them all 'Gay retards'. The robotics club has issued a statement denying these claims. In related news, an anonymous student witnessed a discreet conversation between the Robotics Club and Psychology Club presidents in which the witness discerned the words "Brainwashing", "Mojave Desert", and "World's Best Realdoll". No-one has determined the meaning of these words.

Whatever happens, we'll keep you posted right here!