Friday, April 5, 2013

Students Request Drug Sniffing Dogs for Rockettopia High

        A group of Rockettopia High School Students approached the Rockettopia School Committee this Tuesday to request drug dogs at RHS. The students were dispatched by the RHS student council, which has grown increasingly concerned about the drug problem at RHS.
        This problem was exemplified in a sting operation on March 14th that led to the arrest of two students selling Marijuana, Zoloft, and Tramadol. The student council immidietly expressed their disappointment that students were dealing illegal and prescription drugs, and the Existential Club expressed their relief that the police had not found the Cocaine, Meth, LSD, Bath Salts, Toads, Mushrooms, and Millipedes.
        The student council decided to act on the drug problem dispute half of the members not knowing what Marijuana is. When asked, one council member replied, "I'm not entirely sure. I think it's something like chewing gum. But it's really bad, I know that. If you get caught with it, the teacher asks you to stay after, which is the worst they can do, right?"
         After the local newspaper printed the names of the students who approached the school committee, the Existential Club told News from Rockettopia that they plan to give the offending students "An in-depth lesson on the fish life of Rockettopia. We expect them to be fully immersed and breathless with excitement."

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