To understand the full scope of this story, one must first understand the strange British terratory officially named "Pitcairn, Henderson, Ducie and Oeno Islands". Although five islands make up the Pitcairn islands, only Pitcairn is inhabited. It is also 3.5km across, smaller than Disney World. The current population estimate is around 48 people. Estimate because the island is virtually inaccessible, with no harbor or airstrip. The only way to get ashore is by longboat. Despite it's tiny population and one internet connection, the Pitcairn islands have their own top-level domain, .pn. The .pn domain became internationally known when the makers of The Hunger Games used it as the top-level domain for the fictional nation of Panem. Lionsgate studios, the producer of The Hunger Games, registered one to two domains for every inhabitant of the Pitcairns.[http://www.myhungergames.com/the-story-behind-pn]
Note: At this point, I have not made anything up
The Pitcairn Islanders are almost all descended from the famous HMS Bounty mutineers and their tahitian companions, who landed on Pitcairn in 1790 and have been there ever since. In 2004, the Pitcairn islands were briefly in the news when six men, including the mayor, were convicted of sexually abusing children. These men represented a third of the adult male population. Despite it's tiny population, the islands have their own national language, Pitkern, which has been described as 'Atlantic Creole' and 'Jar Jar Binksish'. According to Wikipedia, these are some common phrases in Pitcairn:
Pitkern English Whata way ye? How are you? About ye gwen? Where are you going? You gwen whihi up suppa? Are you going to cook supper? I nor believe. I don't think so. Ye like-a sum whettles? Would you like some food? Do' mine. It doesn't matter. I don't mind. Wa sing yourley doing? What are you doing? What are you up to? I se gwen ah big shep. I'm going to the ship. Humuch shep corl ya? How often do ships come here? Cum yorley sulluns! Come on all you kids! I se gwen ah nahweh. I'm going swimming. Lebbe! Leave it alone! Cooshoo! Good!
Pitcairn is the British territory that assures that the sun still never sets on the British Empire [http://what-if.xkcd.com/48/].
Note: Still haven't made anything up
Since the Pitcairn Islands have only 48 residents and can only be accessed by longboat, many people were surprised when President Obama named notable Rockettopian Dave Westfield (RHS Class of 2002) American ambassador the Pitcairns. Westfield denies rumors that he got the job by calling Obama at 1 A.M. claiming to be a House Republican. Due to the significance of the first ever ambassador to the Pitcairns being from Rockettopia, we have desided to send reporter Sue Silverstien to accompany the Ambassador.
The Ambassador will be leaving for the Pitcairns in two weeks with an entorage of ten people. They will be delivered to the islands via airdrop, and the entire group will increase the population of the islands by 20%.
We here at News from Rockettopia look forward to covering this story.
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