The Rockettopia High GSA fell short on new recruits from the freshman class, mostly in the ‘Gay’ department. “The GSA has more new straight members than ever”, said a GSA member, “But there are only a few Gay members.” The GSA refused to speculate on the cause of the seeming shortage of gay freshmen, but the Psycology Club was less reserved. “They’ve obviously all joined the football team”, said the Psycology Club president, “I mean, who could resist? The football team offers the ability to contort yourself into extremely sexual positions with other boys while seeming cool? It’s too good to pass up! I mean, how many straight boys would sign up for a club if it involved getting intimately close to attractive girls without any embaressment?” The Psycology club president was now smiling and brething heavily. “I mean, like, you know, when a cigar isn’t just a cigar!” The reporter then ended the interview for reasons he called “Obvious”.
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