This week, the shocking truth came out that students in the Rockettopia String orchestra were using their sectional time for, among other things, sex. An onlooker reported this:
“I was walking past one of the practice rooms when I saw a girl walking in. Then I heard a brief conversation, followed by giggling and a flow of students leaving the room. Then the giggling intensified, followed by kissing sounds, other sounds, and cries of ‘Yes, yes, oh, oh, more, more, hehehe!’ I then quietly walked away.”
Despite the fact that the student only confided in his experience with a few close friends, the story quickly got around, resulting in the principal condemning the situation as ‘Shocking!’, the psychology club issuing a statement blaming the situation on the human instinct towards mindless sex. The Band also released a taped statement, “These shocking revelations show how mindless the string orchestra can be at times. However, do not use this as an excuse to condemn the entire music department. These allegations do not apply to the band.” The student body generally thinks this speech would be much more reassuring if not for the cries of ‘Ooohhh! Ooohhh! Yes! More! Faster! Oh, oh, oh!’ emanating from a nearby room.
The Chrous also released a statement, albeit of a different tone than the Band’s: “Why is anyone shocked by this? Isn’t this what sexionals is for? I mean, it’s sexionals, right?”
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