Thursday, February 9, 2012

New England Refuses to Accept that Patriots Sucked

Over the last few days, New Englanders refused to accept that the patriots totally sucked at the super bowl. Many theories have condensed to explain away the fact that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl by a staggering four points. The most common conspiracy states that the Giants kidnapped the actual New England Patriots prior to the big game and replaced them with a team of robots. Although the robots were originally programmed to lose by more points, the theorists say that not even robots could have lost to the NY Giants that badly.
The Supply Side Economics Club is still going to do an article in the Cornpopper, which will be reprinted here. The Cornpopper staff have supposedly attempted through every possible means to stop the article from being printed. In an unofficial statement, an unnamed editor said that the Supply Side Economics Club article was "So crazy it makes Newt Gingrich sound sane. It's like saying 'Screw the Poor' but meaning it. I must remember the yacht." He is apparently referring to the three hundred foot yacht that was donated to the Cornpopper staff from an unknown source.

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