Thursday, March 28, 2013

Pope Francis Endorsed by Jesus

        Just hours ago, the new Pope Francis received a surprise endorsement from Jesus Christ. From his throne alongside the almighty in heaven, Jesus released a statement, "I am aware that I don't often do this, but I would like to state my approval of Pope Francis. I feel that he is sort of doing holy work." Even critics of the pope were impressed and excited about these words of praise.
           Jesus had not endorsed a pope since the official creation of the office in 366 A.D.
           "Although John Paul II came close, he didn't really cut it in terms of charity.", Jesus also mentioned during his endorsement. Although Jesus did not go beyond broad generalizations in his explanation of why he endorsed Francis, many prominent theologians have offered explanations. Many cardinals have pointed out that Francis has refused to wear the ornimental red shoes of the papacy [Insert 'Wizard of Oz' joke of your choosing here], decided to live in the Vatican guest house instead of the papal suite, used public transportation as a bishop in Argentina, and above all, extreme concern for the welfare of the poor. Non-church officials have speculated that the rumors that as a cardinal, Francis supported gay civil unions behind closed doors in Argentina might have to do with it. Whatever the reason, the church is very excited now.

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